Linguistic Underpinnings

10am.  wake up. look  at broken clock on wall and realize that right now, it shows the right time. poke at stomach.

10:30. Get out of bed and think of showering. Feel optimistic for a 15 minutes. Feel bad again. Doubt doctor.

11am. Take medicine anyway. Maybe it’s not the doctor, it’s me.

11:30. Fall asleep again.

zzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzz

12:30. Wake up and watch TED talks. Shamelessly post my website address on Facebook thread during Zappo’s founder’s speech because his speech sounds like such a commercial anyway. Wonder what it really takes to succeed. Listen to Zappo’s guy speak about happiness. Wonder if he’s really happy. Wonder  why I didn’t choose some more practical money making career because I’m so good at long hours of work. Watch other speakers. Text friend who is actually at TED talks.  Watch musical section of TED and worry that TED will never come to India again.

2pm. Go to sleep again.

zzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzz

3:30pm. Wake up again. Realize I have to go out into the world and get rent money from the ATM. Dress nice to make myself feel well. Dressing nice makes people stare.  Someone walks by and says something about “Ghoris…” a fourteen year old boy walks by and says “Seeeexxxyyyy!”  Feel rediculous.  Get money from ATM. Return home past leering men. Set out rent.

4:30pm. Go to sleep feeling bad again.

zzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzz

5:30m wake up. realize there is no other option besides going immediately to the imported food store and buying familiar healthy foods so I can convince myself not to give up hopes of eating a meal that agrees completely with my stomach. Go to Ghori store. Buy luxerious things such as smoked salmon and  frozen peas. Buy something called “Southern Fried Chicken” which turns out to be too spicy to eat. Buy, of all things, ginger beer because it restores hope in the world and in my stomach also.

6pm. Return home and eat a meal so familiar I want to cry.

7pm. Convince myself I feel good enough to go out with the girls because I am so tired of laying in bed. Last week has had a few bright points of entertainment. Have spent too much time in one room!!  Get dressed up and take all my medicine and hope that nothing goes wrong.

Fingers crossed…..